Old Blogs #2

This is an old blog I wrote last year (sometime) while in the midst of my now husband's nasty 1 1/2 year divorce. I was very angry and, you may be able to tell if I keep blogging, I'm extremely witty and sarcastic when I'm angry, so I thought I'd share it with everyone. I originally had this blog on myspace and removed it because the subject of the blog went whining and bitching to her ex mother-in-law, my future (and now current) mother-in-law about how mean this "little girl" is to her! So for the sake of my MIL's ears I deleted them. Now that there's no danger of the bitching, thanks to the subject's actions of the past couple of years, I feel no need to hide my good writing away from the world :)

Saturday, June 21, 2008..

My friends Current mood: amused I'd just like to clear up what I think may be an epidemic confusion. When I post a blog, or a bulletin, new pictures, etc., my primary audience is intended to be MY FRIENDS. Now let's clear up who is and who is not my friend. If you are on my buddy list, or have a small amount of common sense and moral capacity (cheating on spouses = no moral capacity) you are my friend. Congrats! You may take an active interest in MY life with MY man. If you are in fact one of those people who lack common sense and/or moral capacity (those of you who lack both, you know who you are) then you are in fact NOT my friend. I will be civil to you for the sake of some young individuals whom I care for very much. But being friendly? Not so much. You're welcome to "invite me for coffee" and/or "respect me for loving your children so much." I'm very pleased with both and would just LOVE to join you for coffee....just name the date and time! But I will never, NEVER, be your friend. Let's review: buddy list, common sense, moral capacity = friend :D non-buddy list, lacking common sense and/or moral capacity = not friend :( Now that being said, let's discuss, shall we students? What it takes to be an adult. Job, paying bills to the best of your ability, being a positive role model to children, and being mature enough to handle problems with the actual person you have a problem with = adult. We'll not mention names, ok? But you know who you are. You have a job...paying bills may not be your forte, but ok. I can't excuse using children for money though, sorry. Or being a positive role model....how is clubbing and casual sex with practically any man with a dick being a positive role model? And last but not least, come on now kids, I know you know the answer to this one.....who do you talk to when you have a problem with someone? I'll give you a hint, the answer sure as hell isn't "your ex mother-in-law". Thaaaaat's right, it's....the other party in the dispute! Ding ding ding! I think we now know that some people would just fail this patented adult test, huh? Oh, and one more thing. When one says that they are "over" another person, what do we usually take that to mean? In this lesson we'll cover it. Being "over" a person means having no real interest in their new lives with a new woman who treats him much better than oneself. Being "over" a person means NOT deliberately doing anything to sabbotage a relationship or to interfere with a NEW life started by the other party involved. Now I don't know about you, but if I had nothing better to do than to peek through Myspace to see what he's doing, to see what "that tramp who has him now" is doing, etc, I would go ahead and assume that you're not "over" the other person just yet, dear. Now I'd like to remind the audience (or, intended audience, that is, LOL) that all questions and situations and/or examples in this lesson are purely hypothetical. So if the pathetic people in my examples happen to sound like yourself, that's not really my fault, is it?

Old Blogs #1

This is an old blog I wrote last year (sometime) while in the midst of my now husband's nasty 1 1/2 year divorce. I was very angry and, you may be able to tell if I keep blogging, I'm extremely witty and sarcastic when I'm angry, so I thought I'd share it with everyone. I originally had this blog on myspace and removed it because the subject of the blog went whining and bitching to her ex mother-in-law, my future (and now current) mother-in-law about how mean this "little girl" is to her! So for the sake of my MIL's ears I deleted them. Now that there's no danger of the bitching, thanks to the subject's actions of the past couple of years, I feel no need to hide my good writing away from the world :)

Friday, June 20, 2008..

Stupid People I have a critical question to ask pretty much anyone with a brain stem (sorry aborted babies). Which should come first, getting a new tattoo or piercing, or buying your children clothes? Let me recap. Not so long ago, we requested that The-Bitch-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named send some nice clothes with the kids for them to wear to my friend Krystal's wedding (which was beautiful). She sent none, claiming that "what clothes they have are in that bag." So we found them some respectable clothes, which included me taking Carissa to Walmart for a pretty purple shirt to match her skirt for the wedding. This said shirt got sent home with the kids by accident that weekend. Now there was an event we were going to tonight (Friday the 20th) for someone I care a lot for. This said One-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named was invited to this ceremony (which is fine). The only reason I mention this is to prove that she indeed knew where the kids were headed after we picked them up tonight. Joshua came out of the house wearing basketball shorts and a top to match. Carissa, a pair of bluejean shorts and a very stained t-shirt. Carissa told me "sorry Tiff, but mommy wouldn't let me wear the shirt you bought me." Instead, she opted to send her in a horribly stained shirt, as was every shirt in their clothes bag for the weekend. Now rolling with the punches, I picked out an outfit from the bag for Joshua to wear. The only pants sent with them? All were too tight on Joshua, they were hurting his stomach. It was after this that I discovered that all of Crissy's shirts were stained just like the one she had on. So we had to take another trip home before leaving for this event to get them some respectable clothes to wear, some that FIT and some that were STAIN-FREE. This detour, as which I'm sure the whole purpose was, almost made us late. Now since this custody battle has been going on (since July 16th of 2007), this particular individual has been receiving child support from Richard EVERY WEEK. Money that is specifically for things the children need (IE food, CLOTHING, water, etc). Also, since this individual has been receiving child support, she has gotten two tattoos, as I'm sure many people know are not exactly cheap. One on ..9/29/07.. and one on ..05/04/08... My question to normal, free-thinking, common sense possessing people is this: Which should come first?

It Needs to Be Said

I don't have a huge problem with life right now! Actually, as I said in my last blog, there are still a few kinks to work out. And I explained all about those in my last blog, so I won't bore you with them again. But I do have some new things to gush about. Well, not new, but things that have been welling up in me for a while now.

I was going to wait until I had Julian back in the house before I said this, but it's nearing Thanksgiving I just want to express how grateful and thankful I am for my family and friends who have stuck by me through this whole ordeal without once voicing any doubt in me as a parent. My outlook on life would truly be way lower if I didn't have everyone being so understanding and faithful. I mean I have people I don't even know very well telling me how they know I would never hurt my son, and I'm so, so grateful to those people.

~You know who you are and you know who you aren't, but I don't give a fuck about those FEW who aren't supportive of me and my life. Those people don't know me at all and will never get the opportunity to do so because they have forever ruined any chance at it as far as I'm concerned. It pisses me off that I have to add these parts in in the first place, but I'm completely over it. Karma is a bitch and my life is so much more fulfilling knowing that I'm an honest and loving person. I sleep great at night knowing that I'm doing the best I can and doing it honestly. I don't know how on earth some other people sleep. I just try and make sure to add a disclaimer so these people who are so pathetically self-convincing don't try and think of themselves as the good guy in all of this. I have no respect for people like that.

Of course, the biggest portion of this faith and understanding has to come from my parents and my husband. I can't express how much it meant for me for my parents to take such good care of my son while he's been away. My mother is a wonderful woman, and my soon to be step-dad is a great guy, and they've done me the biggest favor of my life (besides giving me life, of course) by making sure he wouldn't go to a foster home while we tried to prove that a bone disease and not child abuse was the reason he was hurt. The only way he'd get better care is if he were with his mommy and daddy where he belongs.

The rest of my family has been amazing as well. My grandma, through a certainly unhealthy obsession with knowing that I didn't hurt my baby, is the reason Julian has been diagnosed with Rickets. She is a beautiful, beautiful woman and she was so very dear to my heart before this, but I'll never be able to explain how much she means to me now. All of my family got daily phone calls from me while I had JJ in the house, and they know how much I love him and how much I love being a mom. Now I get the daily phone calls, of love and support, asking me for updates and wishing me luck every court date at 8 o'clock before we leave. Even in court dates with the-one-who-is-not-to-be-named we feel their love. And they love my stepkids just like they're biological family members.

And my husband? Oh, I've never been more sure of our relationship and our love as I am after all of this. We're so good together. He has given me uncompromising support and love, and I can't count the number of times he has reminded me of what a good mommy I am. These are things I already know, but even in the dark times at night I doubt myself and his reassuring arms around me and soft words whispered are so calming. My husband has never criticized me for anything, comments on how strong and beautiful I am, and it brings tears to his eyes to see how well I treat his kids, as if they were my own. And how well I treat our baby. Words will never be able to express my gratitude. He is a wonderful man and I'm so very glad I stuck through a nasty 1 1/2 year divorce to be able to call him my rightful husband. His name looks so good on me and our children, and I'm looking forward to many years with him. :)

And last but certainly not least, my friends. I have the best friends in the entire world. They have stuck by me through thick and thin with the same uncompromising intolerance of bullshit (remember that divorce? LOTS of bullshit in that divorce) and loving understanding that my family and husband have given me. I know I can always talk to them and get support and encouraging words back. A few of them have children close to Julian's age, and they're real mothers, like me, so they understand how hard it would be for them to go through this knowing they didn't do what they were being accused of doing. My heart almost can't hold all of this love.

Anyway, I didn't get to class this morning and it's Thanksgiving season so I wanted to give thanks. Thanks to my family and friends and loved ones, thanks for being only three weeks away from passing at the end of this semester, and thanks for the strength I have found in myself as a woman, a wife, and a mother through the help of everyone in my life. Even those who would try to bring me down can't touch me. Because with this support system and my determination, I'm untouchable.