Just...Everything

"Sometimes you get to the end of the rainbow and the leprechauns went and booby trapped it."

Ahh, such is life. I have so much to talk about I better dive right in. First of all, about the new template. I've decided that this blog may be the most important thing to my sense of self right now, and I want to dedicate myself to trusting this blog like I've never trusted any (thing) before. I plan to be as brutally honest as I can with myself here, and though that's going to be a tough journey, I'll be able to look back and see how it's gone and how much left I've to do. My template is now the "music is my life" one, but will be changing often, as with my myspace page. I literally looked for hours for the four decent ones I have bookmarked. I didn't want it to be over the top because the purpose of this blog is to see me, my words, my thoughts, dreams, hopes, fears, instead of what half naked guy is in my background. So honestly? Here goes...

First of all, I have a new writing job with an old friend from GearUp camp, Sarah. I really enjoy this job because...well...I love to write. I don't think I've ever recently realized, as a matter of fact, how much I enjoy writing until I got an email offering me a contract and actually got the goosebumps, hug somebody excitement I get when I'm passionate about something. It has, in fact, made me re-think my career choice, but that's another paragraph...

This paragraph. I realize the transitions in my blogs will not be perfect, which is one of the fatal flaws of my writing in general, but again, it's just one of those things. I am going to attempt to return to college this fall at Madisonville Community College. Only now I find out I may not be able to because when I got married, which was right around tax return and FAFSA time (February 20th, 2009), I was in the process of changing my name from Pippen to Fletcher and now the social security office has messed up somewhere and that needs to be repaired before I can begin to re-submit my FAFSA. And with no financial aid, there will be no college for me. Even if I could go though, I'm interested intellectually in so many things. At first I turned toward teaching. But what age? And what subject? Math or English, it's gotta be one of those, but which? So many decisions I thought would just come to me in adulthood are swirling around in my mind constantly.

And speaking of minds (god what a bad segue, I really have to work on that) I've been having migraines lately that make me think something may be wrong with me. Of course, it could just be the remains of a head cold I've had recently, and I'm hoping it is because stress headaches stink. As a matter of fact, I can't really function with any kind of headache, and I don't ever remember having ones this bad before.

ADHD. In my opinion, a completely inaccurate diagnosis for anyone under the age of, say, 14. In my opinion, again, ADHD is the lazy parent's way of saying "I can't handle my children." The biological mother of my two stepkids is claiming now that Carissa is suffering from ADHD. But here's the thing. ALL kids are hyper. ALL kids lack a long attention span. This is not an uncommon occurance. I am just thankful that she is not allowed to put my sweet, hyper Crissy on any kinds of medication without Richard's legal consent and signature. It's just ridiculous, in my opinion.

Ok, I'm geting closer to the end of this small, random, stream of consciousness book I'm writing, so fear not. The last thing I want to discuss is my recently started and then stopped journey of weight loss and health-gaining. I started keeping a food journal, walking and doing strength exercises five days a week. That lasted for two weeks. At that point my mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law came to stay with us for a week while Richard's parents had a little spat, and my diet and exercise plan went out the window because I was too self-concious to exercise in front of or even in the same house as them. I am, for those who do not know me, severely overweight. I would love to lose the weight at this point in my life. After my son was taken from us, I got nauseous every day at about the same time and decided that it was stress causing it. Right about that time I decided to go on this weight loss journey and once I started exercising my nausea went away. So I've discovered that one: it's a good stress reliever and two: I had lost about three pounds in two weeks doing this, and I should've kept at it. I need to buy a set of scales and just do it. I didn't mind doing it at all. My only problem, I think, will be forcing myself up in early morning hours to exercise because I am so busy the rest of the day. It will take time to get into the habit, but I need to do it.

Now that I've written a novella similar in structure to The Catcher in the Rye, it is time to say goodnight for now. I will try to keep a running tab on things I want to record here and stay loyal to my new blogging habit.